You Call This a Comments Facility?

Wednesday, 13 November 2002

Since today is shaping up as a slow satire day, I thought I would take the opportunity to catch up on my E-Mails - all one of them. Apropos my brief flirtation with debunking Greenie pseudo science, Mr RM writes:

G'day Gummo,

great 'blog...best title,low on vitriol, literate,with normally high guffaw quotient...but before you digress into self-congratulation over the whaling segment, best take yourself in hand. Maybe it was the mention of number-crunching to a computer programmer that disabled the good ship Potemkin's satirical rudder. Gawd knows we need someone to send up sanctimonious decimally-challenged Greenies...I even bought a Kingwood once with a 'land rights for gay whales' bumper sticker myself....but,hey, 'malnourished' Japanese by the million?

Perhaps your new editorial direction should be to send yourself up. You know ...Samurai says to Empress Mori Antoinuki...Your Highness...the masses humbly request that they riot...(if that's ok with you)...they're starving.... 'Let them eat whale steak!'...But that's why they're starving....since those dewy eyed, hypocritical, culturally insensitive,anti-human,cattle munching Westerners deified the krill-wasting, shark food,cockroaches of the ocean as environmentalist icon...

O.K.,I know you were only trying to defend those subsistence Japanese fishermen in their long-boats with their hand harpoons...but 'scientific research'?...yeah maaate...Maybe the scientific environmental argument for Japanese whaling could go like this...they provide the whales with a decent Darwinian predator...nature seems to have been a trifle remiss ...the Japanese live to 120 on healthy whale meat and don't have to make so many Landcruisers and Handycams to trade for our beef...less pollution their end...fewer feedlots here...everyone's happy.

Maybe Sony Music should flood the Western market with new agey cd's of cattle lowing to fuck up our beef industry in retaliation, or perhaps cattle-watching tours with Mimi McPherson from the backs of specially outfitted Toyotas... In the meantime,innumerate Greenies and the mock outrage of Richard Carleton notwithstanding, we'll exercise our irrational right to put shit on the Japanese and Norwegian 'scientific research'...

Well, gotta go...I've got to defend the chooks from marauding malnourished Aussies with a low sperm count...(no more rhino horn...greenie fanatics!)since some bastard restricted their access to essential protein provided by their taste for sea-turtle and dog meat:-)...

I'm pleased to say that I was able to get this to fit within Blogger's limitations on post size without any censorship editing.