And the Winner Loser Is ...

Dandenong, recently confirmed by the Australian Bureau of Statistics as the best place to stick the hose if you were giving the country an enema.

The award is based on 2001 census data, so there's plenty of scope for rival claimants, such as Port Kembla, to insist that they was robbed because the data's out of date and the arse end of the arse end of the world has now moved somewhere else.