Phil's Amnesty Badge Speaks Out

A Tug Boat Potemkin Exclusive

After Monday night's episode of 4 Corners, I decided enough was enough: it's no more Mr Nice Badge. I got in a good start on Tuesday morning, by snagging myself on the interfacing under the navy blue serge. That got Phil nicely frustrated so I got the chance to sink a good quarter centimetre of point into the ball of his thumb.

I guess that was the high-point of the day for me: from there it was on to the dreary round of public appearances. The radio interviews, like the one Phil did on AM, are the least embarassing: if it's done over the phone nobody gets to see me hanging around with Phil. Even the in studio interviews are tolerable: most of the reporters and production staff are used to seeing me and they don't make too much of a fuss about it these days. I think they understand how it is between Phil and me.

It's the television interviews, like last night's 7.30 Report interview with Kerry O'Brien that are really hell. Even with the ABC's low reputation and ratings, you can't help thinking about the hundreds of people who look up to you as a sort of symbol and how disappointed they must be at the company you're keeping. The next time he leaves me pinned to his suit when he sends it to the dry cleaners, I'm off. Let's see him try to get a replacement.