Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Wanted to Borrow

Anyone know where I can lay my hands on a digital camera body with a Pentax compatible lens mount? Just askin'.

(OK, so I had this idea for a little photographic project this afternoon but, really, that ought to be obvious from the fact that I'm asking for a camera).

Local Legend


Two charges against a constable by his superiors were heard before the Williamstown Bench yesterday... The Bench was composed of Messrs. Woods (mayor) and Douch , J.P. The defendant was William Considine , a constable stationed in Williamstown, who was charged by Richard John Webb, inspector of police, first, with being drunk while on duty, which was an act of misconduct against the discipline of the police force; and secondly, with assaulting Senior-constable Dyer, which also was an acto of misconduct against the discipline of the force. Mr Croker appeared for the defence. The witnesses were ordered out of court.

Joseph D. Dyer, senior constable, stated that on the night of the 4th inst, he sought for Considine but could not find him. He called up Sergeant Oliver, and the two searched again and found Considine in a right of way near the Woolpack Hotel, talking to two civilians. He was not in a fit state for duty. Sergeant Oliver and witness tried to persuade him to go home. He then struck witness a heavy blow in the face. Witness threw defendant, who, as he got up, drew his handcuffs to attack witness, but he threw him again. His language was very bad. Sergeant Oliver and witness handcuffed and took him to the guard-room at the police station. On the way he was very violent, and kicked witness in the legs, and bit him.

George Oliver, police sergeant, corroborated this evidence. He had always found Considine an upright, honest constable, and very truthful. He was assaulted a few months ago by larrikins and seriously injured in the head, and since then it could be readily noticed when he had taken drink.

James Evans, constable, deposed that when Considine was in the guard-room he was "outrageous" and "wild," and several times rushed at Dyer kicking at him.

Mr Croker, addressing the Bench, said the defendant had received an injury to his brain which affected him and caused him to be irritable. It would not be denied that he acted as alleged by the witnesses, but the state of his brainled to his not being responsible for his actions.

Dr MacLean gave evidence briefly on the effect of Considine's injuries upon his temperament.

The Bench after a long deliberation, announced that it was of the opinion theere was an attempt at assault under great provocation, but there was not sufficient evidence that an assault had been committed. The case would therefore be dismissed.

The decision was received with applause in the body of the court.

Inspector Webb said he would now enter upon the charge of drunkenness while on duty.

Senior constable Dyer, Sergeant Oliver and Constable Evans gave evidence that in their opinion Considine was drunk on the occasion referred to, which was corroborated by Constable Bolger, the lock-up keeper. The Bench, after a long consultation, held that there was a doubt in the case, as the defendant was under great excitement. The benefit of the doubt was given to the defendant and the case dismissed. This announcement was received with applause.

(The Argus, 13 January 1892)

Monday, April 17, 2006

If You Only Read One Other Blog Post Today ...

... make it this one.

Pejorative, Bloggers for The Use Of

While pottering around in my backroom wordsmithery the other day, I came up with a new acronym that might just fill a need: NOOMPTY. It stands for "Not Out of My Pocket, Thank You!" Noompties are those voters with very sensitive hip pocket nerves whose opinions - usually at second or third hand, throught the writings of the opinionistas and politicos - dominate so much of the debate on social and economic policy these days. They are closely related to nimbies, indeed the two conditions are not mutually exclusive.

And while I was planning to work "Noompty" into a future post, it seems a little contrived to go looking for an issue that will give me an excuse to use it. So do feel free to pick it up and use it yourselves.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Sometime Soon...

... I'm expecting the telephone to ring. I'll say "Hello" in a cheery, "come on speak to me" way.

The caller will respond "Good afternoon," (it will actually be early evening) "could I speak to Mr Trotsky, please?"

"This is Mr Trotsky speaking."

"Mr Trotsky, this is Noelene, I'm ringing on behalf of the Australian Direct Marketing Association. Are you aware of the work of the Association?"

"Look, I'm actually expecting an important call some time soon, I need the line free."

"Mr Trotsky, the ADMA is the industry body representing direct marketers in Australia. The Association is very concerned about recent legislation which may adversely affect employment in the industry. Are you aware of the recent legislation?"

"Could you please get off the line. I'm expecting an important call."

"Mr Trotsky, are you aware that the Federal government's 'Do Not Call' register for households who do not want to receive calls from telemarketers could cut employment in the local industry by as much as ten per cent and force Australian jobs off-shore?"

"Bloody hell, Noelene, if you're going to make your living talking to complete strangers on the telephone, show some bloody self-respect and get into the phone sex industry. Now get off the friggin' line!"

"Mr Trotsky, we were wondering if you, as a concerned member of the community, would be willing to circulate a petition, on behalf of the ADMA, calling for the register to be scrapped?"

"No I f*cking wouldn't!"

And then I'll hang up.