Sunday, April 16, 2006

Sometime Soon...

... I'm expecting the telephone to ring. I'll say "Hello" in a cheery, "come on speak to me" way.

The caller will respond "Good afternoon," (it will actually be early evening) "could I speak to Mr Trotsky, please?"

"This is Mr Trotsky speaking."

"Mr Trotsky, this is Noelene, I'm ringing on behalf of the Australian Direct Marketing Association. Are you aware of the work of the Association?"

"Look, I'm actually expecting an important call some time soon, I need the line free."

"Mr Trotsky, the ADMA is the industry body representing direct marketers in Australia. The Association is very concerned about recent legislation which may adversely affect employment in the industry. Are you aware of the recent legislation?"

"Could you please get off the line. I'm expecting an important call."

"Mr Trotsky, are you aware that the Federal government's 'Do Not Call' register for households who do not want to receive calls from telemarketers could cut employment in the local industry by as much as ten per cent and force Australian jobs off-shore?"

"Bloody hell, Noelene, if you're going to make your living talking to complete strangers on the telephone, show some bloody self-respect and get into the phone sex industry. Now get off the friggin' line!"

"Mr Trotsky, we were wondering if you, as a concerned member of the community, would be willing to circulate a petition, on behalf of the ADMA, calling for the register to be scrapped?"

"No I f*cking wouldn't!"

And then I'll hang up.


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Anonymous said...

how ironic that your first response to this was the net equivalent of telemarketing ...

that should be preserved for posterity


Gummo Trotsky said...


And so it shall be!

BTW, your comment comes across a lot friendlier here, in context, than it did in my E-mail notification.

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deej said...

Just thought I would add to the number of real people making a comment.

Gummo Trotsky said...

Real people commenting on this blog, deej?

Positively unheard of!

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