Sunday, March 12, 2006

South Dakota Abortion Checklist

(As approved by South Dakota State Senator Bill Napoli*)

Section 1
  1. Were you a virgin before the rape?
    If your answer is Yes go on to question 2. If your answer is No consult your parents or Minister of Religion. It is never too late to find the Lord. And please fill out Section 2.
  2. Are you religious?
    If your answer is Yes go on to question 3. If your answer is No, it really is time you consulted a Minister of Religion. Please fill out Section 2.
  3. Were you saving yourself for marriage?
    If your answer is Yes go on to question 4. If your answer is No, please fill out Section 2.
  4. Were you brutalised? If so please describe your experience in the space below (no attachments please).

  5. Were you sodomised? If so please describe your experience in the space below (no attachments please).

  6. How would you rate the sodomy?
    - Kinda enjoyed it
    - I've had worse
    - I can take it or leave it
    - Bad
    - As bad as you can possibly make it
Section 2:
The personal details you provide below will be forwarded to one of our community-based Pray for All the Poor Sinners teams. Be sure you enter all information correctly - the Lord doesn't like people wasting his time.
Christian Names:

Surname:

Address:

Telephone:


* - napoli definition by courtesy of Smart Bitches Who Love Trashy Novels.

Afterthought: Bill Napoli's idea of a real life situation where abortion might be justified has me wondering just what the hell goes on in South Dakota. It just doesn't bear thinking about.

5 comments:

David Heidelberg said...

BILL NAPOLI: When I was growing up here in the wild west, if a young man got a girl pregnant out of wedlock, they got married, and the whole darned neighborhood was involved in that wedding. I mean, you just didn't allow that sort of thing to happen, you know?

Yeee haaa!!

Helen said...

"For the Women of South Dakota: an abortion manual"

Molly Saves the day, via Making Light

David Heidelberg said...

Have you seen South Dakota's new emblem?

Gummo Trotsky said...

Well I have now, thanks David.

I wonder what the new licence plates are going to look like.

Hmmm... I think I know someone who might have an idea or two on that!

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