Dummy Spit of the Week

Friday, 28 March 2003

In spite of the Yob's attempt to scoop me this week, Tim Dunlop didn't even come close to winning. it was a fine try Tim, but you need to do more work on your distance.

The Member for Bennelong has been getting a fair bit of attention elsewhere in Ozblogistan for telling UN Secretary General Kofi Annan to pull his head in. Although I had hopes that the man who gave us such fine moments of parliamentary rhetoric as "I did not mislead the Australian people Mr Speaker, I did not!" might be a qualifier this week, I've only seen written reports of his remarks and, since delivery is everything in a good dummy spit, I'm forced to look elsewhere for contenders.

Hero-columnist Janet Albrechtsen came close on Wednesday with an article on the Melbourne legal firm of Slater and Gordon. I was particularly impressed with the opening paragraphs of Janet's column, which reminded me very much of a short story by Saki. Urban legend buffs might want to keep an eye on this one. But, vapidity doesn't make for a good dummy spit either, so sadly, Janet doesn't even score an honourable mention.

This week's prize winner is Andrew Bolt of The Melbourne Hun for this fine piece of op-ed apoplexy. In his usual style, Bolt demonstrates his inability to cope with the notion that there are actually people benighted enough to hold opinions different from his own. It helps to show why, in the paper's print edition, Bolt is usually shown in three-quarter profile: it hides the colostomy bag hanging out of one of his ears.

This will probably be the last "Dummy Spit of the Week" for a while, at least at this blog. I've decided to experiment with a few alternatives, so next Friday, I'll be trying out "Snob of the Week". Once again, nominations (from the realms of blogging, op-ed, politics or whatever) are always welcome.