Dummy Spit of the Week

Wednesday, 19 March 2003

OK, so this item was supposed to appear on Monday, making it two days overdue. It's not exactly as if any of you bastards were any help - I gave you the opportunity for some serious reader interaction by nominating likely dummy spits and what do I get? A tediously earnest discussion of whether the Wog is a snob or not. Not good enough people.

First, an honourable mention to the Dean of the Anglican Diocese of Sydney, Dr Philip Jensen. Inspired in part by the example of a Hindu student who, despite Jensen's offer to show him that Hinduism is wrong without attacking Hinduism, continued in his false religion due to family and tribal pressure, Dr Jensen mounted to the last bastion of free speech in Australia, the pulpit of Sydney Cathedral and took the sword of the Spirit to the benighted secularists. Verily did he smite them hip and thigh and they were vanquished in the sight of the Lord. Demonstrating commendable endurance and flexibility of mind, Jensen followed up with some interesting comments in an interview on ABC Radio's PM the following day:

The Bible says that he [Christ] did die. Now, I was not saying which of these was right, or which was wrong, but I was saying that you can't get rid of the category of right or wrong in this area, because they both can't be right.

JO MAZZOCCHI: Can you understand, though, how your comments could be interpreted as being quite insulting to other religions?

PHILLIP JENSEN: No, because I'm saying that Christians could be wrong. It may be that Jesus did not die, and is Islam is right.

I look forward to a future sermon from Dr Jensen where he develops the other leg of his argument: the consequences for the Sydney Diocese if Christians are wrong and Islam is right.

This week's winner comes from the world of international diplomacy. Well done France, for adapting the Bush doctrine of pre-emptive self-defence to create the Chirac doctrine of the pre-emptive security council veto.

Nominations are again open for the next Dummy Spit of the Week, which I have decided to move to the end of the week for obvious reasons. Nominations close Friday 28 March, assuming that you lot are prepared to pull your socks up and lift your game. Otherwise, you'll just have a lot of gallows humour to put up with. This is your last chance gentle readers: don't blow it.