Toorak resident George Cameron was shocked when he found the body of a young infant in St George's Road yesterday.
"I was shocked." he told The Hun, "I saw this bit of old black rag by the side of the road and when I picked it up there was this sacking underneath and the baby was wrapped in that. Gave me anasty turn, I can tell you."
Mr Cameron contacted the police and the body was taken to the Morgue. Sources have informed us that the baby was a 4 week old boy. His skull was fractured and there were bruises on his back and arms. "It's a good while since I've seen anything quite this nasty," said one Morgue employee, who declined to be named.
An inquest has been scheduled.
See how easy it is? Now come on people, I want some outraged editorials and opinion pieces to have a good giggle over by Sunday morning. Alright, Sunday evening at the latest.